There are women who have taken to grouping men under one name, macho, and then claiming these type of men have to stop being abusive. They obviously have never looked the term up in the dictionary. Strong; assertive masculinity; courage; aggressiveness. Grouping all abusive men under the heading of "macho" shows a lack of language skills not to mention a lack of knowledge about men in general. Women are strong, aggressive and courageous and, these days, many aspire to be assertively masculine. How does that make a person an abuser?
Before I go any further with this let me first tell you that I was an abused child, sexually, physically and emotionally. I have known and dealt with abusers since I was very young so I am speaking from a position of knowing a little about the subject. Most child abusers are men of charisma, the kind of man a woman falls for, so caring and concerned. "My goodness, he'd never raise a hand against a flea." Or there is the bully, who won't stand up to a macho man so he takes out his weakness on women and children. The bully is the most obvious abuser. And most men who hit women are trying to prove they are men because their mothers didn't make it clear that they were. Hitting on women makes them feel all tough and big when in reality they are frightened little boys having a temper tantrum. Faced with a man who knows he is a man the little frightened boy will run off and beat his wife.
Back to macho. Macho men, aggressive, yell a lot, look threatening but really wouldn't ever hit a woman. He doesn't have to prove he's top dog by hitting a woman, he already knows he is and frankly, nothing you can say will change his mind. This is the man who will defend a woman if he sees a man trying to hurt her. If I were ever cornered by an evil man I surely hope there will be a macho man around to rescue me.
However, now a days, macho men keep to themselves. To help a woman is simply begging for trouble. She will either get mad because he offered to help "the weak little woman" or she'll misinterpret his actions and yell he was being mean and unfair, "equal rights, equal rights!" or she may even yell rape.
Women are yelling, "Treat me like an equal" without a clue what they're asking. Ever watch men bond? They fight. "Treat me like your equal but don't hit me, I'm a girl." If you want to be a man's, "equal" (which then would make you a man by the way), then by golly get in there, toe to toe and go a few rounds with him. If you can go the distance he'll treat you like an equal (man) from then on. No questions asked. However, if you're planning to spend your entire life whining you want to be equal, you will never make the grade.
Has it never occurred to you how strange it would be for a bird to claim equality with a cat. A bird flies, a cat is graceful, a bird eats worms, a cat eats birds, a bird has a beak a cat has sharp teeth, a bird has wings, a cat has claws. Now how do they become equals? Because the bird says so? Sorry, that doesn't make them equal.
Women want equal rights in the work place. I'm for that and I think you'll find most men would agree that is okay as long as she can do exactly the same kind of work and put in the same kind of hours and hard labor he does. Why not? But total equality across the board in everything is just not realistic. And I might mention that there are MANY woman who aren't even interested in such a thing.
I'm proud of my womanhood. I'm married to a macho man who wouldn't hit me for the world and, trust me, I've pushed him many a times. He's doubled up his fist and walked off. His temper is something to see but then so is mine. We are a matched pair. However, there is no question of equality here. He has strong, large, rough hands, broad shoulders, big feet, among other things. Boy, I wouldn't want to be built like that!
Women friends who've met my husband for the first time think that a man with a temper like his must obviously be an abuser. Until they get to know him and they twist him around their little fingers. "O Dear, I'm having trouble with my car again, I wish I had a big, strong, handsome man, like yours to help me." Yep, it works every time!
As I mentioned I've been abused. Hitting me could be a dangerous proposition. That isn't bragging that is simply stating a fact. I was hit on for years when I was no bigger than a minute by a guy who looked like a giant to me in those days. I swore no man would ever hit me again. They don't. I've had men come at me looking like they might but one look into my eyes and they back off. My husband? He's backed off a couple times when he knew he'd gone too far. He is a strong man, not just physically but emotionally as well. If he's in the right I can carry on all I want but he won't budge from his position. If I go after him physically he stands his ground till the storm passes. There is no man living that I respect more than I respect him. And I respect his kind, "Macho" men, who can't be pushed by women but won't harm one either.
My husband is descended from Vikings and looks it. Eyes that look like blue glass shards when he's angry, a hard, square face, he really looks like the Vikings in the encyclopedia. He's feudal, aggressive, territorial, macho, and arrogant. Please note the word "abuse" is not among the descriptive words.
One of my daughters was called to school. Seems one of her boy's teachers was having some problems with him. They got into a discussion about the boy not listening to her, she claimed he was too hyperactive and "did you know he has a macho attitude?" My daughter smiled and said, "Yes, I taught him to be macho." Needless to say the teachers mouth fell open and my daughter proceeded to instruct this teacher of young students, the art of dealing with a man child. "If you behave as though you need his help, he will bend over backwards for you. 'This thing is just too heavy', 'I'm having a bad day and could use a little help here'." So the teacher tried it out and was totally amazed at how quickly she and the boy reached an understanding. On her last visit the teacher told my daughter that there is nothing he won't do for her. Of course, she is the little woman and he is the man.
This macho boy child does not hit or in any way hurt a girl child. And as to being hyperactive, he is a guy and they are movers and shakers not quiet, doll playing little girls. I, too, raised a couple macho, movers and shakers and I am very proud of them. They are both married with children of their own.
Women were created "from" the man. We are not his equal but his other half. We bring things into his life that make him a better human being. He brings to us stability. We are a pair that fits together for the betterment of each other. What is the good of a car without the motor or a lamp without the bulb? These things are not equal but they do work much better if you put them together. We were created to enhance the lives of others whether we are men or women. Now a days, men and women marry for selfish reasons. I need someone to love ME. People should marry because they want to GIVE to the person they are marrying not with the intention of GETTING something.
